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<header class="entry-header"> <h1 class="entry-title" style="text-align: center;">Girl Game is so Simple and Yet so Hard</h1> <img src="https://media.istockphoto.com/id/473389039/video/cheerful-girl.avif?s=640x640&k=20&c=XKJN_vLZDfN4NtE2QWuHdfDpUm7IuWlBu16qKGHYp_I=" alt="" width="768" height="432" /> </header> <div class="entry-content"> Most of the dating advice out there for women misses the point or is a watered-down mixture of a few truths fouled by politically-correct toxic bromides, that are either irrelevant or downright damaging. Women who want the lowdown on what works with men need to get it straight from the <del>horse’s</del> stallion’s mouth–a blunt, honest and well-informed stallion, mind you, not from some Grima-Worm-Tongue white-knight mangina hack–and not from jealous or sympathetic mares that will either sabotage a seeking sister or drown out the medicine with sugary platitudes. Girl game for long-term relationships comes down to three factors: <ol> <li>Up your value</li> <li>Align the price you’re demanding (aka the value of the man) with your own value</li> <li>Promote and market yourself</li> </ol> More specifically, points 1 and 2 above each have two important components, leading to the 5 P’s of girl game: <ol> <li>Pretty</li> <li>Personality</li> <li><del>Picky</del></li> <li><del></del>Pick well</li> <li>Promote yourself</li> </ol> Let’s go through each one now. <h2>1) Pretty</h2> Being pretty is the number one aspect of girl game, the area that will get you the most bang for your buck. Super Important:  Get an honest evaluation of your looks from several non-white-knight-mangina guys that will tell you the straight up truth. Don’t ask guys that have a habit of telling you what you want to hear. Get blunt, honest guys with good taste. Let them know you won’t hate them for being honest…and live up to the promise. Knowing how pretty you are now (and where you can improve) is vital. Too many women have an inflated sense of their beauty, in large part due to white knight pedastalizers and flattering pump and dumpers. The important this is that there actually is something realistic and tangible that most women can do to improve. Why?  You see…. There’s an epidemic of fat asses roaming the land. The CDC reports that 35.9% of adults over 20 are obese!  Not just overweight but obese! One out of three is a land whale. And lest that number seem small to you, 69.2% are obese or overweight–land whales or mini land whales, respectively. You think a man’s going to be happy hitching his life to a big tub? Think again. Put down the donut and pick up the dumbbells. Walk, run, cycle, swim. Cut down on the carbs. Don’t go psycho and anorexic about it but just do it. Most young women can be anywhere from decent to outright pretty if they just get their weight in line. Note: There are some women who are not fat who are <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/05/04/is-my-weight-keeping-me-single/">obsessed with losing weight</a> and think they’re fat. If you’re not fat then don’t go overboard. But since nearly 70% of adults are overweight or obese, then the odds are that some weight could be lost. Ask sincere people for a very blunt opinion. And don’t go all or nothing about it and give up. If you’re 50 lbs overweight then losing half of that will make a huge difference. No longer hidden by flab, your face will shine through, your bone structure will appear, and men will start to notice you. Every little bit helps. Losing a bit of weight is simple, even if it isn’t necessarily easy. It requires a combination of the right strategy and really wanting it. Looking For Love Online ? Join Loveawake free dating service: <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-Kingdom-dating-service.html?page=10" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Women Seeking Men in UK</a> <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States-dating-service.html?page=10" target="_blank" rel="noopener">American Women Seeking Men</a> <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Spain-dating-service.html?page=10" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Men and Women Dating in Spain</a> <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Canada-dating-service.html?page=10" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Canadian Women Seeking Love</a> <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Australia-dating-service.html?page=10" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Australian Women Seeking Single Men</a> <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Germany-dating-service.html?page=10" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Women Seeking Men For Dating In Germany</a> Keep your hair long. Long hair feminizes your face and is just plain attractive. Yes, a hot woman can handicap herself down a half point or so with short hair and still be hot…because she was hot to begin with. But most women need every half-point they can get so keep the hair long and looking good. Again, a simple thing and yet sometimes hard when feminists are saying that short hair is sexy. Sexy and elegant, simple and sweet, not slutty and debauched. That’s what your fashion and makeup should say. Accentuate your curves and cleavage in a tantalizing way, not in a let-it-all-hang-out smorg-ass-bord of boobs and butt. Get help if you need it, and always get a well-informed male opinion, preferably straight, unless the gay guy can channel a bit of the straight eye for the queer guy. Too much dating advice for women out there skirts around the point that looks matter. One such guy, Christian Carter, offers some good advice but ignores the elephant in the room. He gets it right in saying that having sex or doing nice things won’t make him attracted to you alone but then he misses the point that a woman has to be hot enough to generate enough attraction so that the sex and the nice things and the good personality will make him want to lock in an LTR with the woman. Look at how he tries to make it sound like <a href="http://www.catchhimandkeephim.com/attraction/create-attraction-in-him.html">the right mindsets will solve it all </a>and compel him to want her: <blockquote> These beliefs or “mindsets” trigger a very powerful response in a man. It tells him that this is a woman who is self-assured and knows what she wants and how to get it. They also communicate that the woman is “higher status” and thus naturally compel a man to think she’s unique and someone worth his time and attention. </blockquote> These mindsets and personality attributes will definitely help if the woman is hot enough but won’t make up for a lack of hotness. Now there’s some blunt and honest truth for you that internet marketers will never tell their paying customers for fear of offending and drying up their river of cash. The honest truth is that every man has some minimum looks threshold below which he just won’t be able to commit. By upping your looks by even a half or a full point–doable for most women that aren’t already optimized–you unlock millions of new men that will be excited to date and commit to you. <h2>2) Personality</h2> I love Bill Burr.  As an introduction to him check out this clip where he deliciously roasts Oprah: <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/O9YL04v-J5U?si=9vTp60Wf0LvyLXIp" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe> And that, right there, is golden advice for women. Don’t be a gold-digging whore! Men don’t just want to be a wallet…so if you’re such a money-grubbing, materialistic, ungrateful and entitled little bitch then get the fuck out of my life (I’m referring to the women he references in his comedy act, not the wonderful female readers here. Adapting Bill Burr’s phrase to another epidemic that has infested the land: We’re facing an epidemic of snark-spitting bores.  That’s right. Women think that by being snarky and bitchy that they’re actually being charming!!!  WTF?  Men don’t want some snark bitch at their side, nagging and cutting and biting. And they don’t want a vapid woman that bores them to death. Be pleasant! Be interesting! For God’s sake, please! Men want a woman who is kind and sweet and loving, that builds him up and inspires him. Cut the nagging already. Cut the demanding entitlement. That shit just makes a man want to curl up and die or run for the hills. It’s like too many women solipsistically think that an edgy, ballsy, doesn’t-take-shit kind of guy is attractive, and so they think that men want that too. And too many women buy into the men-are-privileged bullshit and think they have to bust his balls at every chance lest he yield to temptation and crack that ever-looming whip of privilege that every man is just dying to unleash. Instead of cutting him down, build him up.  One woman I was dating was an honest-to-goodness 9 (on a scale where sighting true 10′s is as common as Bigfoot). The first time we went out she looked so good that when I first laid eyes on her that night my gut did a holy-shit-she’s-hot clench up. But in later dates she nagged the shit out of me for trivial things that weren’t even an issue. I couldn’t stand it. I fled for the hills. Learn to appreciate his humor and laugh at his jokes. Men fucking love it when women think they’re funny. Men love laid-back chicks that are just fucking fun to be around with and talk. Listen to him, laugh with him, learn of his dreams, share yours. And have something interesting to talk about. Show interest in him and what he loves. One girl I dated was hot but boring as hell. I just couldn’t stand it. On the other hand, the women I’ve been most in love with were a combination of good looks, good personalities, and we had great conversation. They were interesting to talk with. Bathe him in feminine light and warmth and energy. Don’t worry that this will open the door for you to be taken advantage of. If you picked well, he’ll love you all the more. Praise him, compliment him, let him know sincere ways that he brightens your life. Men need to be needed! Need him! And let him know. <h2>3) <del>Picky</del></h2> Stop being so picky. Don’t price yourself out of the market. Get a realistic understanding of the level of men that will stay with you for the long term and not just a night. The level of man you can get to commit for the long term will usually not be <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/01/02/is-romance-really-important-for-happiness/">as “hot” as the man you can get for a night of sex</a>. If you’re a 5 who thinks she’s a 7 then you’ll be overpricing yourself and likely only be getting pump and dumps. Don’t fall into the fallacy that just because you can get a sexy man or a successful and charming man of good character to sleep with you for a night that you’re oh so close to getting him to commit and that next time with just a little tweak or a little luck it will work out. If he’s out of your league then it won’t work. If he’s a point or more higher in value it’s going to be <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/04/20/the-fear-of-commitment/">hard to get him to commit</a>, though unicorn cases do exist, but that’s winning the lottery, so to speak, and not a plan to count on. Drop the princess fairy tale. You’re not a “princess” so don’t expect a “prince” (unless you happen to be at least an 8 in looks with great personality). And you’re not Elizabeth Bennet who will catch Mr. Darcy with her blunt and admittedly refreshing personality (talking about the book or the BBC movie, where she’s not as hot as Keira Knightley is in the most recent movie). I have three female cousins, sisters. At the height of their beauty, I’d say one was an 8.5, one was an 8 and one was a 6.5 (or 7 at very best). Well, the 8.5 and the 8 have lists a mile long while the 6.5 was more realistic. They’re all in their 30′s now and guess which one is married. Yep, the realistic 6.5, and to a great guy no less but he’s no 9 or 10, which too many women that aren’t 9′s or 10′s are holding out for. This is one of the simplest parts of girl game, and yet sometimes the hardest, right up there with losing weight. Simple in principle but hard if you’re hypergamously wired to like men that are out of your league. But I think that, by simply getting an honest assessment of your looks and personality and by dropping the fairy tale fantasy, you can actually lower that minimum acceptable threshold of attraction. I think that women are somewhat dependent on approval from the herd and their own estimation of their sexual/marriage value. So if they can reset this then they can fall in love with a more realistic man. Look at the example of Harriet Smith in Emma. At first, she’s smitten with the farmer, Mr. Martin, who is actually a great catch and perhaps even a bit out of her league but happily wants to marry her. However, her match-making and busy-body friend, gorgeous and spoiled Emma (probably solipsistically) thinks that a farmer wouldn’t be good enough for herself and thus wouldn’t be good enough for her friend, Harriet, in spite of being less attractive and lower-status. Without the alpha mare’s approval, without the approval of her herd, Harriet suddenly starts to think that Mr. Martin isn’t good enough for her and eventually lets her hypergamy run wild and sets her cap for the wealthy, handsome, kind and charming Mr. Knightley, a male 9 or 10! Picking the right herd to belong to, or braving it alone, can be very beneficial to women getting their hypergamy in check. <h2>4) Pick Well</h2> You need to pick men that actually want LTRs (which turns out to be most men when it’s a woman who’s in his league and has a good personality and things in common). Avoid dishonest men, cheaters, cads and men that have poor personalities or different goals. Unlike <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marge_Simpson">Marge Simpson</a>, never think you can change a man. Picking guys that are in your league is part of this. After all, why would an 8 want to marry a 6? Too often, women will pick a real asshole (or perceive the man as such if he doesn’t reciprocate her interest) instead of one of the several good guys that would happily commit to her and treat her well. Then they complain that all men are assholes. Attraction trumps common sense, I guess. You can find a man that will be excited to be with you and a great match but if you’re part of my estimated 50% of women that are too hypergamous then you’ll have to do a good bit of inner work–yes, work, and work is hard–on getting your hypergamy in check and retuning your attraction triggers to like the level of man you can get for an LTR. <h2>5) Promote Yourself</h2> A hermit will never marry. Too many women don’t market themselves. They come off as unfriendly and bitchy. In today’s environment of excessive creep shaming and sexual harassment fear-mongering, men are much more wary of approaching women. Drop the bitch shield or the shy shield and smile, talk and flirt with good-candidate men, and give them a taste of your pleasant personality and your improved-after-reading-this-post looks. Get out of the house. Hang out with friends where men will be present. Do internet dating. Go to bars, social events, activities, running clubs, play co-ed sports, anything. Just get yourself out there interacting with men in the places where good-character, in-your-league men will be. By doing all this–improving your looks and personality and putting yourself out there in the market–you will likely have many men start to take notice. By making yourself approachable, you will lower the risk factor for the man to take steps to get to know you and ask you out. No man wants a nuclear rejection so make it clear that you won’t. And remember, what a woman thinks is being obvious probably isn’t strong enough for most gun-shy-due-to-excessive-creep-shaming men these days. And don’t be afraid to suggest to a more timid but otherwise great man that you should get together. Women wanted equality and they’ve gotten it. So time to put on your big-girl pants and start assuming some of the risks that men previously assumed. Now, due to the fact that men and women are not identical, it usually is a better route to make yourself approachable and strongly hint that you’d like to do something together (if needed) and let him ask you out. But let me tell you this as a man. If a woman that I liked asked me out I’d be ecstatic. I wouldn’t suddenly think, “oh, I don’t like her anymore.” Now, what often happens, though, is that in the rare times a woman will ask out a man, he happens to be out of her league and so she never had much hope for an LTR with him anyway. But even here, unless she’s really a lot lower value than him, he may actually go out with her (and yes, sometimes just hoping for easy sex) and at very least will likely not be rude or launch a nuclear rejection drone strike on her head. So, ladies, you really have little to risk in asking out a guy that’s in your league, though if you do the flirting and niceness right you won’t even have to ask him. He’ll ask you. So there you have it ladies.  Girl game, in all it’s glory. Simple yet hard…but definitely doable. The 5 P’s of girl game: <ol> <li>Pretty</li> <li>Personality</li> <li><del>Picky</del></li> <li><del></del>Pick well</li> <li>Promote yourself</li> </ol> Now go forth and do girl game right. </div>